blue like jazz

I have greatly neglected reading this book, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because it's a bestseller. As silly as that sounds, I avoid books on the bestseller list. I just hate mainstream sometimes... They glorify books that I think are shallow or just stupid - case in point - The Twilight series. Like an idiot, I read them only to be disappointed. I should have known better. Just because it's a good read doesn't mean that it's a good book. Anyway, I have heard of this book (Blue Like Jazz) a lot and have tried very hard to avoid it. It wouldn't be good - it's a bestseller... Boy, was I wrong.

I usually avoid Christian books. Yet another strange thing. I guess mostly b/c a lot of mainstream Christian books seem almost like propaganda to me - far right interpretations that leave little room for something that isn't cookie cutter. Honestly, I don't feel very cookie cutter. In fact, it almost insults me when I am considered cookie cutter. My friends are not perfect. I am not perfect. Why would I want to read something that requires me to appear perfect. I just want to live in a world where I am not a failure before I even start reading book that makes me feel like I am.

Blue Like Jazz hit the nail on the head for me, really. It is honest and REAL. I have always had the Sunday school answers, but it always felt contrived. Some of my favorite speakers have been real - they liked Jesus b/c he got mad or talked back to the pharisees. He was a real person. So when I read something that is idyllic and doesn't allow Jesus to be real, I am automatically not interested. I just feel like I don't fit that picture - I have MANY issues with the organized church, yet I can't live without it. I feel like a freakin' walking contradiction when honestly we're all just doing our best. I am not trying to justify myself or the actions of others. I am just longing for something real. I guess I kind of gave up on the church and fitting a perfunctory role in life when I really didn't have to.

All this is to say, thank you Donald Miller for being willing to open yourself up and poor out your heart. That is very hard and makes you vulnerable to the world. Thank you for your honesty and your downfalls. I love all my friends - big, small, gay, straight, conservative, liberal, and everything in between. Thank you for the courage to write about your own friends that live outside of the box. I have greatly enjoyed your perspective and will take a part of it with me for the rest of my life. For those that haven't read it, give it a chance. It is quirky, funny, and full of great stories.